Bad Movies at Redbox: Watching the very worst Redbox has to offer so you don't have to

Friday, October 17, 2014

The Mummy Resurrected

A Misunderstood Awkward Comedy
Redbox Movie Art

IMDB Movie Art*
 *What the hell is that at the top of the IMDB version? Did they want us to think this got a Blu-ray release? Did it get a release in HD DVD? Was this made in 2006?

Redbox Synopsis: A group of archaeologists uncover a long lost pyramid in the middle of the Egyptian desert. Believing the pyramid to be full of ancient treasures, the group decides to explore. Little do they know that their actions are about to awaken an ancient evil. (Not Rated, 84 minutes, Closed Captions)

 A long winded setup, some cool screenshots, my odd dissection of this mess and finally, what you probably came her for in the first place, The Hott Hottness Award.

Disaster LA

A Zombie film by people who've never seen a zombie film, featuring characters that haven't seen a zombie film for people who love zombie films!
So no sequel, then?


Redbox Synopsis: Zombies run amuck (sic) in Los Angeles and a small group of survivors plans to vacate the city by heading to the coast before it's too late. (Not Rated, 83 minutes, closed captions)

Little different type of post today. I'm going to ramble on about zombie movies in general here, then the review and Hott Hottness Award (spoiler: she's worth it!) after the jump.

Friday, October 10, 2014

The Midnight Game

There's a snag in my plotline, Dear Midnight, Dear Midnight...
These back tats are getting out of control

Redbox Synopsis: A partying teen and her friends decide to perform an ancient pagan ritual found online called 'The Midnight Game': Candles are lit. A drop of blood is spilled. Their worst fears are confessed and an entity is summoned. But if the rules are not followed exactly, punishment is promised. Tonight, the game is not being taken seriously. A demonic horror has been unleashed. And now, even daylight cannot stop the nightmares that may destroy them all. (Rated R, 74 minutes, Captions)

Little change of pace today. I wrote most of a legit review (or what passes for a legit review around here) and overall recommendation first and then the fun stuff, spoilers, nitpicky crap I found, The Hott Hotness Award and at the end, I play the Midnight Game. If you don't want spoilers read the first part and stop, if you came to look at hott girls and my bizarre dimensia, skip to the end. Or do whatever you want. Live your life, I'm not your mother.

Fun starts below the jump

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Redbox New Releases for 9/23/14

Coming Attractions


Redbox selection of indie movies has been more than weak of late. I haven't done one of these in a while because of the drought of movies at Redbox. For new readers, I am a shut-in with agoraphobia and I'm still under house arrest after the incident at the Buck Cherry concert.-I've seen none of these films. In the Coming Attraction series I look at what's new at Redbox and review the movie based solely on the trailers, movie poste and Redbox synopsis. Needless to say, I do not work for or am compensated by Redbox (Well, they do send me a "cease and desist order", whatever that is, every week so that's something). This week we have I a once respected SNL alum that continues to go for the lowest common denominator, a European werewolf movie, a post apocalyptic film, some weird sci-fi with Lawrence Fishburn and a Susan Sarandon vehicle.

All previews after the jump

Monday, September 22, 2014

Dark Island

If you loved the Lost Smoke Monster was thought it lacked a cliched, nonsensical resolution, Dark Island has the cure for what ails ya.


Redbox Synopsis: After losing contact with its researchers on a remote island, a military corporation hires a group of scientists and soldiers to find out what went wrong. When they arrive, the team quickly discovers that the weapons-testing performed on the island has unleashed a powerful and deadly entity that will stop at nothing to destroy them all. (Rated R, 127 minutes, closed captions)


My loyal tens of readers know that this site is your go to place for direct to DVD movies on Redbox. Despite the cover, Dark Island is more of an action film than a horror film. It's a jungle survivor story set in Canada with a strange play-let involving members of the U.S. Army interspersed throughout the story line.

*Spoilers Below*

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Locke

If you loved the slow pace of Drive but felt fast paced car scenes should have been replaced with concrete foundry logistical discussions, this movie is for you!




Redbox Synopsis: Ivan Locke has worked diligently to craft the life he has envisioned, dedicating himself to the job that he loves and the family he adores. On the eve of the biggest challenge of his career, Ivan receives a phone call that sets in motion a series of events that will unravel his family, job, and soul. He is forced to make a decision that will put it all on the line during a 90-minute car ride. Rated R, Closed Captions, 125 Minutes) 

I don't want to do a rehash of this film and rest assured there are no spoilers as nothing of note happens in this film. Lets get to it after the jump.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

2013 Bad Movies at Redbox Awards


Well thanks to all my readers in this, Bad Movies at Redbox's inaugural year. It's been a fun year with tens of readers. Loyal reader's know that this site doesn't review studio releases that have just made it to DVD, rather indie films and straight to DVD films that may be diamonds in the rough. It's time to compile my list of the years best and worst Redbox had to offer in 2013. Quite an undertaking and needless to say, I wasn't able to do it on my own. I assembled a panel of experts to help me decide. On the first anniversary of my little site, here are the awards:

The Catagories are:
  • Worst Movie at Redbox 2013
  • Redbox Deception of 2013
  • Best Film Concept of 2013
  • Comic Relief Performance of 2013
  • Best Male Lead of 2013
  • Best Bad Movie of 2013
  • Movie of the Year 2013
  • Best Death Scene 2013
and of course...
  • Hott Hottness Award of 2013

Lets meet our nominees after the fold...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Devil's Pass

At Least it isn't Aliens.


















Redbox Synopsis: When nine hikers venture into a remote mountain area they are later found dead. In an effort to solve this mystery, five college students return to the site of the original events in the belief that they can uncover and document the truth of what happened. But what they find is more shocking than anything they could have imagined. (100 minutes, Rated R, Closed Captions)

Review after the jump, no spoilers on this one

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