Sound like a good movie to you, doesn't it? Well too bad, pendejo, there was no film made called The Dead Reborn. There were three seperate films titled:
|Original Poster 2000|
|Original Poster 2002|
|Original Poster 2000|
Now you are probably asking yourself, "F@ck me, Redbox did this to me when I rented the Haunted Dollhouse? Well, is Jessica Morris in this then?"
Today's movie comes to us from Full Moon in which Redbox re-release an older movie with a different title as if it was new material. Unfortunately, Full Moon Regular Jessica Morris does not appear in this film.
Review after the Jump
The Dead Hate the Living! IMDB Synopsis: When a renegade band of young filmmakers break into an abandoned hospital to make their horror epic, they stumble upon a real dead body and decide to use it in their movie. They accidentally bring it back to life, open a portal to a dead world that releases dozens of other zombies, then struggle for their lives in a desperate attempt to flee from the creatures who apparently have them hopelessly trapped in the hospital.
|Now who's more human than human?|
Un-Death Sentence: This one is the worst of the three. Again, this film is so edited, I have no idea why Kristof tricked his friends, what Kristof was hoping to achieve by tricking his friends, what his fathers "paper" had to gain from the trickery or how this film was resolved. It was likely explained in a segment that landed on the edit room floor.
|If there was an Oscar category for B-Rate douchebag, Patrick Flood deserves a lifetime achievement award|
- Purple blood. Yeah, they couldn't dye corn-syrup correctly. It's purple.
- The possession of the friends effect was almost as bad as the fire effect from the previous segment.
- There is a "slow motion" fight. It is not a fight filmed at real time speed and slowed down. The actors move at half speed and use an audio effect hoping you don't notice. You notice.
- Characters show up without introduction. This segment started out as 4 people. There are actors shown in one scene. They are not introduced, their presence is never explained and they never appear again.
- In the final fight scene, the demon or whatever, intentionally misses hitting Kristof
- This isn't an effect per se, but this film has an NR rating. There is no nudity in this entire film. . You have no effects to speak of. Show some boobs. Debra Mayer has a sex scene in this. She is a good looking woman. Nudity is not why I rent these films but when its a bad film, I expect you to make it up to me- give me something to work with.
Hell Asylum Full Moon Synopsis: (Ed Note: This was originally supposed to be the sequel to Prison of the Dead- I have no idea how) A desperate producer faced with unemployment has the ultimate reality television program ready to roll. "Chill Challenge" sends five sexy models into a haunted old building where years earlier an eccentric millionaire had kidnapped a handful of unsuspecting women in an effort to force them to be his brides. The idea is simple: spend a night without leaving and walk away with a cool million bucks! What these sultry gals don't realize is, as they reveal their deepest, darkest fears to the probing eye of the camera, someone or something is using those fears against them! As they are sent into the house alone, one by one, they are forced to confront their worst nightmares…and an abomination that will kill them all!! Featuring Joe Estevez.
Shallow Graves: This one was probably my favorite of the three. It is obviously filmed in a elementary school- the "safe-room" is the gym/cafeteria. Again, this film is edited down, but for some reason the models all seem to be upset at being in this game show, as if someone is making them participate. There are beings in black klansman-style hoods that appear from nowhere to eat humans (I don't know either). The effects are pretty bad on this one. I am not a doctor or a mortician but I don't think that intestines look like yarn. Lets meet our cast:
- Marti (Bottom Right), the sassy, street wise one. Marti has an overly long death seen where she is strangled for about a minute. The sound effect is hysterical
- Rainbow (Bottom Left) A goth chick named Rainbow. Anyway, Rainbow gets knocked down the stairs and her legs, I guess snap. The effect is...just, yeah.
- Stacy (Top Right) Stacy is the cute one. She gets sucked up into a chimney and eaten (?). Her bones fall back to the fire place. Apparently she was born with three femur bones.
- Amber (Top Left) dies and while being eaten, you can distinctly see her move her lips
- Paige (Center) the bitchy one. I am not sure how they killed her. I think they ripped part of her scalp off, but I really don't know. (Update: Confirmed by Debra Mayer)
- Max- (Top Center) Worst reality show in TV history. For some reason, this show requires you to only see Max's mouth. Max is having an affair with Paige because it's 2002.
An Aside About the Director
The director of Prison of the Dead is David DeCoteau. David has directed such gems as Cougar Cult (Though I didn't write about it, that film inspired me to start this website). Although the director is David DeCoteau, the director credit is attributed to Victoria Sloan on the film and in the Redbox Synopsis. This leads me to make the following assumptions:
- David DeDoteu listed his real name as the director of Cougar Cult. If you are willing to own up to Cougar Cult but you don't want your name on this film, you have to ask yourself: How bad is this movie?
- In addtion to using the alias Victoria Sloan, David DeCoteau also credited himself as Julian Breen, Jack Reed, Richard Chasen, David McCabe, Joesph Tennent and Ellen Cabot. Either David is some kind of CIA oprative or this dude owes some unhappy women a ton of back child support.
Congratulations to Tanya Dempsey, the Hott Hottness Award Winner for The Dead Reborn. Tanya filmed her portion of the film Hell Asylum in 2002 so I'm not sure how thrilled she is to win this installment's award.
|She isn't a redhead in The Dead Reborn but she should be|
Overall: As much as I wanted to like this Redbox movie, it was almost unwatchable. Between the incomplete story lines, bad editing and poor to no special effects this movie is not worth the 100 minute run time. Full Moon or Redbox would be better off releasing these as individual movies. I doubt I would recommend those either, but at least they would be coherent story lines. I really do enjoy anthology pieces. I loved V/H/S. Creepshow, Tales from the Darkside and Twilight Zone are some of my all-time favorites. The difference between those movies and the Dead Reborn is they were written as anthologies. Cutting down full movies to anthology pieces is a recipe for failure. As much as I like Full Moon, The Dead Reborn is the worst movie at Redbox this month.